SOCIAL DIARY
How to defend and respond to an ad hominem attack ? both how to prevent your opponent from attacking ?
We are all subject to ad hominem attacks every day. It's called advertising. In classical logic, the fallacy consists of arguing with the man (if anything, my argument would be reverse hominem), not against the man. In other words, the only reference considered in logic is to one's logic. Aim for his smugness, quarrelsomeness, insecurity, or any other quality of reasoning, you've strayed from logic.
Now, of course, there is a transition where ad hominem can look like a reverse hominem. If you're arguing that your audience shouldn't be trusted just because your opponent is an old, white, cis-sexed Shit Lord, then you're attacking your opponent to appeal to what you know to be the biases of those paying attention. *
In general, however, naming your opponent is simply outrageous and rude and has nothing to do with logic. If your argument is solid, it will remain solid even if you say your opponent's names.
Second: Take charge of your air.
There is never a reason to lose your cool and definitely not to let someone make you lose your temper. Why are you giving someone power over you?
If you are prone to losing your cool, you have a number of tools to end arguments over your terms that enjoy unstable social standing. You already know these. Use caution at your own discretion and whatever the fallout will be.
Third: Know how to look to lose your cool.
When dealing with someone who has lost their composure, remember that harmonious tone (unless your opponent is clearly below you) is crucial when helping to maintain your composure. You need intimacy on your part, and harmony depends on matching as many aspects of your interlocutor as possible.
Fourth: The reason is already out the window.
Warming up is also known as getting emotional. You should look emotional too. Most people are uncomfortable with being emotional; they no longer use reason. You can be comfortable being emotional because you're just pretending. If you don't get emotional, your interlocutor will likely perceive this as disapproval and even more awkwardness.
A certain technique to lead you to a good solution is called speed: use your supreme mastery over your emotions to steadily lower the emotional level. Before long, when you offer your interlocutor a face-saving exit, you can almost always trust that he will not only accept it but be friendly towards you for the soft landing you provide them.
Tempo is customer service 101. When you have to deal with upset people on a regular basis, you become very easy to direct them to a place where good results can be achieved. Just think about it that way, find opportunities to practice the technique, and then you'll start to see how to "win" all the arguments.
If you get rave reviews about Quora here, this is a good place to practice. Just be aware of the assertion, “I wasn't emotional. I was pretending to calm the commenter" is not a strong defense against a BNBR violation.
* By the way, Hominem is a reference to the audience rather than the addressee, making it even clearer that no insults are implied. Arguments addressed to the interlocutor are aptly called argumentum ad personae. If it makes sense to insult your opponent, it's called an argument negative person.
